


Seasons Come and Go

by bekkis



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-20
Updated: 2010-04-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 01:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bekkis/pseuds/bekkis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared's having a terrible year. He's working on a project he hates, his girlfriend broke up with him and Jensen is pissed at him. It's not his best year ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seasons Come and Go

**Author's Note:**

> Written for spn_j2_xmas for calamitycrow! I hope you like it! Thanks so much to Anisa for the awesome beta, even when she was superbusy. And thanks to Meg for helping me figure out what to write when I was freaking out about this! Title comes from the Jack's Mannequin song, _Lights and Buzz_, which I had on repeat while I wrote this!

The year he turns 30, Jared has one of the shittest years he can remember.

In the time since Supernatural ended, Jared's floated from project to project, some doing better than others. The year he turns 30 though, it's like one fucking disaster after another.

It all kind of starts with this epic fight he gets into with Jensen right after the New Year. Jensen's still his best friend, even with the show being over and never seeing him. But it's a stupid fight and it's mostly his fault. Jensen's never put up with bullshit and Jared's always been bad at apologizing.

They don't speak for the rest of the year.

Jared's year is only downhill from there.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

_December_

They're both in Texas for the holidays that year. Jared's been working on the same film for the last couple of weeks and he doesn't have much time to be home, just two weeks or so before he's due back on set. It's not the kind of project he's dreamed about being on but it pays the bills.

The fight starts there, because Jared turned down a chance to work with Jensen to do this movie.

Jensen never takes things personally, not even when it comes from Jared. He's had directors chew him out on set and the guy turns around the invites them out for beers that night. Him and Jared have had about six fights the entire time they've known each other and it was always, always Jensen who sought him out to fix things.

Jensen gets this script, from a friend of a friend and he's directing his own movie for the first time.

He asks Jared to work with him, do a small part or whatever and sends the script to Jared's agent. Jared picks it up a few days later, along with this shitty blockbuster movie that he gets asked to do personally. He lays both out on the table in front of him, thinks about what they'll both mean to him and makes a really fucking bad decision.

He picks the shitty blockbuster and tells Jensen that he's sorry he can't do it. Jensen lets it roll off his back and gets someone else for the part, but Jared feels like shit.

He makes the mistake of bitching about it to Jensen and it's not surprising everything goes to shit.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

"My momma says hi, by the way." Jared yawns and stretches out on the guest bed in his parent's place.

"Mm, mine too. Wanted to know if you were ever gonna show your face here again."

Jared groans and rolls over onto his side. "Man, your momma is worst than mine with the guilt trip."

Jensen humms. "Well, it has been awhile."

Jared shifts uneasily and clutches the phone tighter. "I know man. I'm just so fucking tired. This fuckin' movie is killing me."

Jensen doesn't say anything and the silence just makes him feel even more fucking guilty about the whole thing.

"It's not goin' so good?" Jensen asks.

"It's just...the script kinda sucks. I dunno man, it'll be worth it, I guess."

"Yeah, you'll make a shitton of money off of it." Jensen coughs into the phone. "You'll be a big old movie star. Don't forget about us little people when you make it big, alright Padalecki."

Jared rolls his eyes. "Whatever, assface. I'll be too famous to work with you ever again."

"Oh, I thought you already were too famous to ever work with me again."

"Dude, I said I was sorry! Christ, are you ever gonna stop bringing that up?" Jared sits up and kicks at the comforter. "You've been giving me shit about this for the last month!"

"You're the one bitching and moaning. Call me when you're not rollin' around in lots of money."

"Oh fuck you, Ackles. I'm sorry you're stuck doin indie flicks cause you can't get anything else."

Jensen intakes a sharp breath and in another minute, the call gets dropped. Jared swears and calls Jensen back, but it goes right to voicemail.

"Call me back, asshole."

Jensen never does.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jared refuses to call Jensen for about a week and then he can't take it anymore. Everytime he calls Jensen, it rings a few times before going right to voicemail. He leaves Jensen a couple of messages, texts him a few times before he gives up.

"Whatever, call me when you get over yourself."

He doesn't hear from Jensen for almost a year.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

_January_

The place he's renting on location smells funny.

Jared's always been adaptable but this is his limit. He doesn't fit in the shower and he ends up whacking his face on the shower head every morning. It's not the best way to wake up.

And his fridge kind of sucks at keeping things actually _cold_ and the maintenance guy for the building seriously sucks and fails at fixing it every fucking time Jared calls. In fact, he's pretty sure the guy is sniping his underwear and selling it on Ebay, that's how much the guy sucks.

On top of that, the weather has been so shitty, it practically rivals Vancouver. It's rainy and cold and Jared, who spent half his time on the set of _Supernatural_ boasting about always being warm, ends up carrying around two sets of gloves because his hands are so cold.

He hates the weather. The movie isn't the best thing he's ever done. He can't stop thinking about his fight with Jensen, how miserable this project is making him, how much he misses his freakin' bed. He can't have the dogs on set with him, even though he kinda wants to pull the I'm an Actor card and demand he have them with him. They're back in Texas with his parents, because the place he's renting while on location is too small for them.

He's miserable and lonely.

They're two weeks to the end of shooting when he tries calling Jensen again. He swore up and down he wouldn't, but here he is, in his trailer with his cell phone, towel over his head as he tries to dry off.

_Hey, this is Jensen, leave a message._

Jared sighs and waits for the beep.

"Hey, it's me again. Call me, would you?" He scratches the back of his head and breathes out. "I miss you."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

_April_

They get the news at the end of the shoot, that the release date for the movie has been pushed back and there's problems with some of the stuff they've filmed, so they're stuck on location for longer than expected. He's frustrated but there's nothing he can really do.

He's back in L.A. with a pile of scripts he's not really excited about and a girlfriend who he hasn't seen since Christmas. He won't be able to see his dogs for another week and he's generally...well he's just not the best person to be around right now.

Chad's busy working, Jensen won't return his calls, and his friends in Texas have actual _lives_. Which means that Jared's stuck alone in his house in L.A., his girlfriend too busy with her friends to keep him company.

Jared really just fucking misses Jensen. Misses their random phone calls and meeting up for lunch, which usually turned into them sitting at the same table for almost six hours, getting drunk and eating too much. Misses hanging out and shooting the shit, watching games and just...he misses Jensen. Misses listening to him ramble and geek out. Jared just wants to see Jensen again, tell him Jared's sorry for being an epic douche and hope they can be friends again.

Instead, Jared leaves him another voicemail that goes unanswered.

His girlfriend breaks up with him two weeks later. _It's not working. We want different things. Blah Blah Blah._

Jared's not really surprised. It was a relationship that was never really anything more than two people keeping each other company. He used to think he'd never fall into that, that every relationship he'd been in meant something and wouldn't just be something to keep the loneliness away. Regardless, that's exactly what it was and he can't do it to himself anymore.  
He has a few weeks off before he starts his next project, a new pilot and he spends his weeks off cleaning her things out of the apartment and avoiding answering his phone. It's not the worst breakup he's ever had but he's never liked being alone.  
&amp;&amp;&amp;  
_July_  
He turns 30 in July and wonders if this is how it's supposed to be. Maybe he's meant to be alone right now.  
&amp;&amp;&amp;  
_August_  
"You still in a fight with Ackles?"  
Jared scowls at his sister and dips a french fry into some ketchup.  
"I'll take that as a yes."  
Jared flips her off and shoves some fries into his mouth. He chews loudly and she rolls her eyes at him. "He's the one who won't call me back."  
"Well did you try forcing him? Show up at his place where he can't ignore you." Meggie stirs her soda with her straw. "You guys not being all BFF is like, really fucking weird. His momma called Momma on your birthday, you know."  
Jared looks up from his plate. "Seriously?"  
She nods and takes a long sip of her soda. "Yeah, she was worried. Said Jensen was doing good though."  
"Well, good for him." Jared takes a giant bite of his burger.  
&amp;&amp;&amp;

He buries himself in his next project. It's for a new show, a pilot he filmed last fall and got picked up for twelve more episodes. He didn't want to go back to television, but the script is decent and he's a main character, but it's not like _Supernatural_.

He'll have more time off, be able to do other things in between. The rest of the cast is okay but it's not perfect. He likes the script, thinks the producer is kind of crazy, but it's a decent project.

He tries calling Jensen during a break in filming one day and gets his voicemail. He doesn't even know what Jensen's up to these days, doesn't know if he's working or on break or whatever. It's fucking weird, not knowing what's going on his life.

"Hey man, it's me. Jared. Call me back. I miss you."

He hangs up and wipes the front of his phone with his thumb. He scrolls through his contacts and takes a deep breath.

"What's up, Padalecki?"

"Not much, Harris. How's it going?"

She sighs and Jared tightens the hold on his phone. He really didn't expect Danneel to answer and now he almost doesn't know what to say.

"He really misses you."

Jared's quiet for a minute.

"The wedding's off."

Jared drops his phone and squeaks. He fumbles to pick it up. "What?"

He can hear her sigh again and he can feel his hand sweating on the phone.

"It's just a thing. We just...it didn't work out."

"When did that happen?"

"About two months ago."

Two months. Two fucking months and Jensen didn't call him. Chris or Steve or even Jensen's momma didn't bother to call him.

"Danni..."

"It's really okay. We're still friends. I mean, c'mon. It's Jensen."

Jared gets it, because even though him and Jensen haven't spoken since January, he's still the first thing Jared thinks about every day.

"You okay?"

"I'm not fabulous. The wine helps."

Jared lets out a short laugh. "I'm sorry."

"So you should call him. And get over whatever happened."

"He doesn't answer my calls. Or call me back. And he's the one who's pissed."

Danneel laughs a little. "Well then, just don't give him the option. Go see him."

Jared shakes his head. "Can't do that." He doesn't want to show up on Jensen's doorstep, looking miserable and pathetic and have Jensen slam the door in his face.

Danneel sighs. "I don't know which one of you is worse. Fuckin' ridiculous, the both of you."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

_October_

They finish filming early on Friday afternoon and they get the news that the show won't be picked up for a back nine.

He's more upset about it than he thought he'd be. It's not the first show he's had that didn't get picked up, but he was starting to get attached.

It just piles on top of the rest of his shitty year. His giant fight with Jensen, being single again, not seeing his family and just working nonstop.

He tries calling Jensen again. It's kind of become a weekly ritual, leaving Jensen voicemails and never getting calls back. He spends an hour googling Jenen, reading all the gossip on the breakup, and the buzz about Jensen's movie. The one Jared turned down and started this whole fucking mess.

He's tired. Jared's had a truly shitty year. He's lonely and he's out of a job, again. He hasn't felt this bad in...well a really fucking long time.

He spends Thanksgiving at home but tells his momma he's staying in LA for Christmas.

He doesn't want to bring his family down.

"You're really staying in L.A.? And Momma's gonna let you?"

Jared sighs and picks at a loose thread on his jeans. "I gotta work right after the New Year. It's just been a shitty year, Meggie. I just want to be alone with the dogs and forget this fucking year even happened."

Megan sighs. "I can fly out if you want, keep you company?"

"Don't worry about me, okay? I just need to be alone for a little bit."

She doesn't bother to argue with him after that, because if Momma said it's okay, then she's not gonna bother.

He should've known that Jensen would show up after that.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

_December_

Jensen shows up at Jared's door two days before Christmas with his duffle and he punches Jared's arm when he answers the door.

"Stop ignoring your phone, you asshole," Jared says, but he can't help but smile. God, he missed Jensen.

"Awesome to see you too, assface."

Jensen throws his duffle at Jared and walks into the house, the dogs running over to see him. Jared closes the door behind him and walks into the house. Jensen's rolling around on the ground with the dogs, laughing and smiling and damn, Jared really fucking missed him.

"You still being a drama queen?" Jared drops Jensen's duffle on a chair in the dining room and crosses his arms against his chest.

"You still being a douche?"

Jared laughs and reaches down to help Jensen off the floor. "Jury's still out on that one."

Jensen rolls his eyes but pulls Jared in for a tight hug. Jared buries his face in Jensen's neck and breathes in, already feeling better.

"I missed you." Jensen whispers.

"Me too."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

God, he really fucking missed Jensen. He's not quite sure what to do with himself except he's so happy Jensen's sitting in his living room instead of avoiding his phone calls. They order pizza for dinner and Jared throws in Transformers for background noise. Jensen's sitting across from him on the couch, picking at the label on his beer.

"I'm sorry I was such a dick," Jared starts.

Jensen shrugs and throws the label on the table. "It's okay. I'm sorry for, you know..."

"Ignoring me for a year?" Jared smirks and kicks Jensen's leg.

"Yeah, that. I just...dude, that was really a douchey thing to say. I mean, even for you."

Jared nods and sets his beer on the coffee table. "I know. I felt fuckin' awful about it."

Jensen looks over at him. "So we're good."

Jared nods and stretches out to rest his legs on top of Jensen's. "We're golden."

Jensen rolls his eyes and shoves Jared's legs away, but Jared's stronger and holds still. Jensen sighs but he's smiling, and rests his hand low on Jared's ankle.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Christmas Eve, Jared catches Jensen on the phone with Danneel.

Jensen's only been there a couple days but even with the air clear between them, he still feels like he's invading his privacy by listening in. Maybe a year ago, Jared would've walked right into that kitchen and Jensen would've kept right on talking, but it's different now.

Maybe a year ago, Jensen would've told him when everything was falling apart, instead of Jared finding out through Danneel of all people.

"Miss you too." Jensen drops the phone on the counter and Jared accidently-on-purpose knocks his elbow against the kitchen door.

"Wow, so subtle." Jensen rolls his eyes and slides onto one of the barstools around the kitchen island. "Danni says hi, by the way."

Jared swallows and slides onto the stool next to Jensen's. "I'm sorry it didn't..."

Jensen waves his hand. "Seriously, we're fine. I mean, it sucks balls but I'm over it."

Jared hits his arm. "Dude, c'mon. It hasn't been that long."

Jensen shrugs and hops off the stool and goes to the fridge. He pulls out two beers and hands one to Jared. "We both knew pretty quick it wasn't gonna work out. I mean, I love her, you know? But it wasn't..." Jensen looks away from Jared. "It didn't work."

Jared rests his hand low on Jensen's back. "Well, I'm sorry."

Jensen walks out of the kitchen backwards and nods his head towards the living room. "Lets go watch _The Christmas Cottage_ so I can make fun of you."

"I hate you so much."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

They spend Christmas together.

Jared wasn't expecting it but Jensen had just shrugged and told him his momma would rather he make things better with Jared than go home. Besides, out of everyone he knows, he'd rather spend the holiday with Jensen. He just really fucking missed Jensen.

"She was worried, dude."

Jared snorts. "No kidding, she called my momma."

Jensen raises an eyebrow and stirs one of the pots on the stove. Jared leans against the counter and taps his fingers. Jensen insisted on cooking an actual Christmas dinner and Jared lets him because he's lazy and also because Jensen's a damn good cook when he wants to be. And Jared's never turned down a good dinner.

"You know," Jensen starts. He takes the cover off of one of the pots on the stove and stirs it for a few seconds before dropping the cover back on it. "She was less worried about me when Danni and I broke it off, than she was when I stopped talking to you."

Jared opens and closes his mouth a few times. Jensen looks over at him and takes a sip of his wine.

"I know, right? It was fucking crazy."

Jared lets out a short laugh. "I'll say."

Jensen's quiet for a few minutes, shifting pots around on the stove and heating stuff up in the microwave. Jared's pulling plates out of the cupboard when Jensen speaks up again.

"Your momma said the same thing."

"Excuse me?"

Jared closes the cupboard door and looks over at Jensen. He's leaning against the counter, arms crossed against his chest and his shirt rolled up his arms and showing off his biceps. He's tanned and he looks more relaxed than the last time he saw Jensen.

"When you and Sandy broke up? She said you'd be okay."

"I had you." Jared finishes.

Jensen flushes and turns back to the stove. Jared swallows and opens the silverware drawer. He doesn't know what to say to that, except his momma was right. It fucking sucked but he had Jensen to keep his mind off of everything. He kept Jared from obsessing, helped him move on.

Jensen rubs the back of his neck and glances over at Jared. "So you know. There's that."

Jared doesn't get what Jensen's trying to say. "Need any more help in here?"

Jensen shakes his head and Jared grabs the bottle of wine off the counter. "Imma go let the dogs out and put this on the table. Holler if you need me."

Jensen nods and Jared hightails it out of there. He's not ready to deal with whatever Jensen's ready to say.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jared expects this whole thing to be weird and awkward. They haven't spoken in over a year and now Jensen's hanging out at his place and they're practically living together again. But it's like it's always been between them. They watch bad movies and drink a lot and Jensen makes fun of his hair.

Jared really fucking missed him.

"If I watch one more movie where shit gets blown up, I'm gonna cut you." Jared turns his head against the back of the couch to look at Jensen.

"I can't believe you blew me off to make this movie."

Jared coughs and kicks Jensen's leg. "Fuck you. That movie paid for this couch."

Jensen stretches a little and contemplates the couch for a minute. "Okay, this is a pretty fucking awesome couch. Maybe almost as awesome as working with me for three months."

Jared sits up and grabs Jensen's arm. "Dude, seriously. I felt like a dick for turning you down."

Jensen shrugs and pushes Jared's hand off his arm. "I got it. You gotta pay the bills."

"Well, I'm sorry I was such a dick about it."

"Dude, seriously. It's okay. I was just giving you shit because I can."

Jared rolls his eyes and pushes Jensen off the couch. "You're such an asshole sometimes."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

_January_

Jensen leaves right after the New Year. Jared feels about a thousand times better than he did when Jensen got there, better than he felt all year. All the bullshit from the last year just seemed to go away with Jensen hanging around.

Jensen leaves him a script with a set of dates written on the front.

"We should work together again."

Jared nods and rubs his fingers along the dates. There's a name written on the front of the script and Jared knows the part is his if he just says yes.

"And it's filming here in L.A. So you don't even have to get a place."

This is about as close to begging as Jensen gets.

"Well, I don't have anything better to do..." Jared trails off.

Jensen rolls his eyes and punches his arm. "Whatever, fucker. I better see you in two weeks."

"With bells on."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jared meets up with Jensen for dinner the night before the first meeting for their movie and Jared realizes he hasn't been out on a date for almost a year. It's the longest he's ever been single in years. He spends a lot of time by himself, going for walks in his neighborhood, catching up on his reading and just sitting and people watching. He feels better than he has in ages, just happy to be alone and to be himself. He loves being in relationships and hates being alone, but for the first time in his life, he's just enjoying being by himself.

"Wow, you're almost as pathetic as I am." Jensen runs his finger along the top of his wine glass.

"I'm happy. I mean, it gets kinda lonely sometimes, but I mean. I've got you."

Jensen flushes and takes a healthy sip of wine. "I went out with this girl like, five months ago. Such a fucking disaster."

Jared laughs. "Rebound?"

Jensen nods. "It was so awkward."

Jared pours himself another glass of wine. "This is like, the closest thing to a date I've been on in forever."

Jensen coughs on his food. "Dude..."

"I'm just saying! I wasn't sayin' it is a date, I'm just saying this is the most like, date-like thing I've been on."

Jensen raises an eyebrow and calmly lays his napkin down on the table. "You got somethin' you wanna tell me, Padalecki."

Jared flushes. "What? No way."

Jensen nods and takes a sip of his wine. "Good. 'Cause I'd like to know when I'm out on a date."

"This isn't a date."

"Well, it showed in your performance. I ain't puttin' out for you."

Jared rolls his eyes and balls up his napkin and throws it at Jensen. "Fucker." He swallows and plays with his napkin. "If it was a date..."

Jensen knocks his foot against Jared's and smirks. "You gotta impress me a little more than this, Padalecki."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Working with Jensen again is really good. Jared's always worked his best with Jensen and with Jensen directing, he still gets the best out of Jared. Jared loves the rest of the cast; they're all younger than him, less experience behind them, but they're fun and love the job.

And Jensen's...he's really good. He knows how Jared thinks and works it to his advantage. Jensen's the only one who can ever call Jared out on his shit, tell him to stop giving him shitty takes.

Jared hangs out on set even when he doesn't have to work. He just...he really likes watching Jensen work. He's always liked watching Jensen, but when he's directing, well Jared's never had the chance before.

The rest of the cast is younger, and they all kind of look up to Jensen. Jared's just really happy to be working on something he loves, knows that it shows in his performance, how happy Jensen looks at the end of every take. He actually loves his job for the first time in a long ass time.

For the first time in almost a year, Jared's happy. He loves his job, loves getting up in the morning and going to work again. Jensen's always there, standing close or sitting right next to Jared, a solid weight to keep Jared grounded.

"What are you smiling at?" Jensen looks over the camera at him.

Jared just shrugs and tilts his head up towards the sky. "Just happy to be here."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

_March_

Jensen's birthday is lowkey and quiet. Chris is away filming and can't get away till next weekend, Steve is touring and Danneel is filming too.

It's just the two of them at Jared's place, and Jared manages to cook up a couple of steaks and buys Jensen that crappy light beer he insists on drinking, and the two of them get shitfaced and watch shitty movies.

Jensen leans into his space on the couch, laying his head on Jared's shoulder. Jared's so fucking drunk, can barely feel his feet but Jensen's just there, heavy and smelling so fucking good he can't stand it.

"Jensen..."

"I fuckin' missed you, you know that?" Jensen tilts his head up towards Jared, frowing slightly. "You're such a dick sometimes but I missed you."

Jared pulls away a little, dropping his empty beer bottle on the table. "I missed you, too."

Jensen's snooring a minute later, loud and obnoxious. Jared sighs a little and gets off the couch as gently as possible, laying Jensen down and dropping a blanket over him. Jared stumbles to his room, tripping over his shoes as he walks towards the bed and promptly falls asleep.

The next morning, Jensen greets him with a fresh cup of coffee, the dogs watching them from the floor, tongues lolling out of their mouths. Jared grins as he takes the cup, drinks enough to settle his stomach and they cook breakfast together, Jensen's Ipod playing softly in the background.

Jared's halfway through breakfast when he thinks, _this is it_, watches Jensen talk with his mouth full of food and hands waving. He grabs Jensen's hands when he's halfway through a sentence and Jensen stills, eyeing him warily. Jared leans over and presses his mouth against Jensen's softly and Jensen makes a soft noise in his throat.

Jared pulls away, eyes half open as he watches Jensen's eyes flutter open. He grins widely at Jared and leans forward again, a deeper kiss this time.

"Happy birthday, Jensen."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

_July_

Jared stretches as he yawns, arms high over his head. Jensen pokes him in the stomach.

"So how's it feel to be old?" Jensen smirks as Jared kicks his leg.

"I dunno Ackles, how _does_ it feel to be old?"

When Jared turns 31, he's got a movie with decent award buzz, another project lined up for the fall and Jensen laying next to him in his bed, looking a little hungover.

"I really hate you."

Jared grins and kisses Jensen, hand sliding into his hair. Jensen moves closer, pushing his leg between Jared's and grinding against him.

"Yeah, I can tell."


End file.
